


There and Back Again

by Briston



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abusive John Winchester, Angel Castiel (Supernatural), BAMF Castiel (Supernatural), Bad Parent John Winchester, Castiel Has Powers (Supernatural), Child Abuse, Drunk John Winchester, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Happy Ending, Homophobic John Winchester, Implied/Referenced Incest, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, John Winchester's A+Parenting, M/M, Married Castiel/Dean Winchester, Not Canon Compliant, Post-Canon, Pre-Canon, Protective Castiel (Supernatural), Time Travel, Triggers, Underage Prostitution
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 17:27:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29439711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Briston/pseuds/Briston
Summary: *Trigger warnings*  Mind the archive warnings and tags.An unexpected turn of events at a hunt triggers Dean and brings up some memories about his father that he hadn't wanted to talk about before now.  Cas decides to pay John a visit in hopes that he can stop some things before they start.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 15
Kudos: 118





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Saying it again:
> 
> *Trigger warnings* Mind the archive warnings and tags.

Wordlessly Dean crossed the parking lot with urgent strides, gravel crunching under his boots. Cas was already at the trunk, packing away gear. He paused only long enough to hand off his own duffel, quickly meeting the measuring look Cas threw his way. He kept going around to the front of the Impala, only then dropping to his knees and retching every goddamned thing he’d eaten that morning onto the dirt. He was down there so long, it felt like it might have been everything he’d eaten in the past week as well.

When it was over, he sat in the dirt next to his own sick and leaned against the front bumper. Sweaty and exhausted, he just needed to collect himself before doing anything else. Cas joined him on his right, sitting on the ground by his side and handing him an opened water bottle. Grateful, Dean half smiled in thanks and used the first two mouthfuls to rinse and spit; trying to wash the acrid taste out of his mouth.

“Want to talk about it?” He watched him with an open expression, Cas always had that way of asking the question that needed to be asked. Direct and without pretense, but without pressure either. Opening a door to a discussion he could walk through or ignore. Dean loved that about him. 

“I don’t want to, but I probably should. Nightmares tonight either way, right?” He reached his right hand over and took Cas’s left, looking at the silver wedding band that matched his own. Almost five years married on top of a decade of friendship, and he still had secrets to unwrap with the angel who knew him better than anyone else ever would. He laced their fingers together and looked at his husband. “I’d give you a kiss right now, but my breath probably smells like ass and you’ve got blood on your cheek.”

“Later then, I can wait.” Cas just sat, watching him with solemn blue eyes and a hint of sadness since he knew how hard this was for Dean. Years ago, after they had finally cut the shit and gotten together, they had both agreed that they had wasted time and caused each other too much hurt by holding back and refusing to communicate. Making it this far had only worked because they’d made a commitment to talk about things honestly, like adults, in real time and not after bottling things until they simmered into anger. It was almost never easy, but always worth it. He squeezed Dean’s hand and let them sit in comfortable silence, no intention to push or rush whatever it was Dean was working up to.

“Monsters I get, but I don’t understand how people can be so…” he swallowed thickly, looking for the right word. “…sick. I mean, what we saw back there. What that guy was doing to his own kid…that’s fuckin’ evil Cas. Nobody…no kid…y’know?”

When the four of them had burst into the old industrial building, they had thought that they were breaking up the command center of a humans-for-food trafficking ring run by shapeshifters. It was bad intel, but maybe not unfortunate. What they did find was human trafficking alright, but not for food. No monsters either, it was run by humans, one of whom, apparently was trafficking his own kids to the highest bidder online. When Dean had burst through the door marked “studio”, he found two boys, no more than 12, cowering on the floor. Standing over them was a large man undoing his own belt buckle for God knows what while one of the boys was crying “Dad, please no.” Dean saw red and lost it. Completely lost it.

Pinning the man up against a column, he yelled for Sam and Eileen to get the kids out and take them somewhere safe. Knowing that what was coming wasn’t something any child needed to see, they quickly led them out stopping long enough only to grab the laptop and external drive. “We’ll call Jody and find out how to make a safe handoff for the kids. I’ll wipe the four of us out of the surveillance video and hand the rest over for her to investigate. She’ll make sure anyone who isn’t here is identified and caught.”

There had been six men in the building and Dean killed every single one of them. Viciously and painfully. Cas hadn’t been able to do much more than watch and try to keep out of the blood spray; some dark wound had been triggered in Dean and he tried to exorcise it with his fists and his blade. If he had tried to intervene, Cas wasn’t so sure Dean even would have heard him.

Now, sitting with Cas, coming down from the adrenaline and blind rage, he took some deep breaths before talking. His gaze focused on a tree far into the distance, not wanting to meet Cas’s eyes. “The uh, the last time my dad hit me. I thought he was going to…well he was drunk, like, really drunk, and the angriest, I’d ever seen him. He’d found out what I was doing for money, to feed Sam and pay for the motel, shit like that. I mean, he never left us enough to survive. And uh, this one time I was at this old truck stop by the highway in Billings. Place was called Ray’s, I think. It was a good night, lots of traffic if you know what I mean, making enough money for a couple of day's groceries…”

Cas squeezed his hand. “I’m so sorry Dean, you shouldn’t have had to…”

“I know Cas, and I know we already talked about this. But let me just get this out and then we can get outta here ok?” Cas watched Dean with watery eyes, not that Dean would notice as his eyes were still focused on the tree, shimmering with their own unshed tears. “If I don’t get it out now, I may not ever.”

“Continue, just remember that you’re safe now. I’ve got you.”

“And that’s the only reason I can say this out loud.” He took a long drink from the water bottle and continued. “So, it was a good night, and I was making enough money to last for a few days. We’d been there a few weeks and I’d been hanging around often enough that word had gotten out. Wasn’t smart of me, but I was enjoying the easier hustle with regulars. Turns out, my dad had somehow gotten wind about the pretty boy who showed up most nights and would do anything you wanted for $20. I don’t know if he showed up because he was looking to buy, or if he knew it was me, but I never saw his car and didn’t know he was there. Found out later that he spent the whole night drinking inside and watching me hustle between the parking lot and the alley behind the bar. He fuckin’ knew it was me and just let it happen. How twisted is that? Fuck.”

“So at the end of the night, the place is closing, everyone was gone. I’d made good coin and had started walking towards the motel when he jumped me from behind.” A few of those tears fell, but Dean wasn’t aware or chose to ignore them. “Honestly most of it’s a blur because I hit my head on the pavement early on when I went down from a punch, but I remember he dragged me back to the alley. He uh, he shoved me into the wall. Even drunk he was a strong bastard. He came right up behind me against the brick, breath smelling like sour whiskey and an ashtray, and I can remember him saying ‘I just found out that my faggot of a son likes sucking cock for money, useless piece of shit that you are, I want to see for myself.’, and god Cas, I begged him to let me go, begged him to just send me home, back to Sam, but he just punched me again and shoved me on my knees.”

Another wave of nausea hit Dean with the memory, but he swallowed it back. Cas sat completely still next to him, as if he were made of stone. Dean could feel his grace thrumming next to him, almost as if the air was crackling with electricity. John Winchester was damn lucky he was already dead, because he was sure Cas would be seeing to it right now if he wasn’t.

“And this is where my memory gets foggy, but I remember him reaching for his belt, just like the bastard we saw today, and then he was just, gone.”

“Gone?”

“Yeah, gone from the alley. I thought everyone was gone but somebody pulled him off me, back out into the parking lot. They beat him up, worse than he’d given me, I heard it, or at least parts of it. And then whoever it was just left him there and brought me back to the motel. They uh, must have found the key in my pocket because the next thing I knew I was sleeping back at the motel with Sam and it was morning.

“Is that all you remember?”

“Mostly? Whoever the guy was, I vaguely remember him saying something to me at the time, but I forget exactly what.”

“And your father?”

“He showed up later the next day looking like he’d been hit by a train. He acted differently though, like he was afraid or something. Never touched me, or Sam for that matter, again. Told us that the hunt was over early and dropped us at Bobby’s for six months. When we did travel together after that, he always left enough money to uh pay for the basics. The only hustling I had to do after that was pool for any extras.”

They sat together in silence for a few minutes, allowing the pain to settle and sift. The only movement was Cas's thumb gently rubbing the top of Dean’s where their fingers were still laced together. Internally, he was furious, he’d known about the truck stops and what Dean had had to do to survive, but this was completely different. His estimation of John Winchester was always very low, there weren’t even words to describe how he felt about him now. Stone cold rage settled in his bones.

“Thank you for telling me that Dean, I know how difficult that was. May I ask you how old you were at the time?”

“It was just after Sam’s birthday and he had turned 13, so I was 17.”

Cas made a mental note for himself. Billings, May 1996, Ray’s. He’d take a look at John’s old journal when no one was around to get the exact dates. “That’s still too young Dean. The world has never shown you the kindness that you deserve. I’m so sorry.”

“S’allright Cas, I’ve got you now don’t I?” Dean had finally turned towards his husband with a curious expression, green eyes capturing and holding Cas’s blue ones, letting him know that he was ok and ready to move on from the moment.

Cas wondered what was going on in Dean’s mind behind the unusual look but didn’t ask. “That you do Dean, for all time. Now, let’s go home.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas travels back in time to intervene.

It was so much uglier than Dean had said.

Pinpointing the exact dates from John’s journal had been ridiculously easy. Time travel itself was challenging but not impossible, and for this one occasion, worth the temporary drain on his grace. Not wanting to risk messing up the timeline any more than possible, but also not wanting to go too far ahead to miss John, he had dropped into Ray’s parking lot at just before midnight. The evening would have been considered cool if temperature was something angels could sense. The parking lot and area around the buildings were not well lit, but the sky was clear enough for the moon to alleviate some of the shadows. 

Younger Dean was there, standing at the corner of the truck stop where the parking lot met a darker alley that ran between the restaurant and gas station. The station was already closed for the night and the restaurant looked like it was just down to a few late-night stragglers. It was obvious that Dean was standing around and waiting, with nowhere to go and in no hurry to leave. Even from where Cas stood at a distance, he could see his too thin frame and hollow expression, shoulders hunched. His dark t-shirt, jean jacket, and tennis shoes reminded him of Jack, and Cas let himself pause for a moment to imagine how he’d have felt to see his adoptive son surviving like this. The thought crushed him, and in the same moment, he both grieved for the child Dean never got to be, and hated John Winchester that much more.

Castiel was unprepared for the sickening punch in his gut to see Dean cock his head and smile at a much older man who approached him after exiting the restaurant. Looking more like a child than an adult, he ran his hand down the older man’s arm and nodded towards the alley in invitation. The trucker easily let himself be led into the dark alley and out of sight. He felt ill, and completely helpless to stop it. Having come here for John, he couldn’t risk changing the events of the evening before the right time. All he could do was head into the restaurant and wait.

The restaurant smelled like old fryer oil, stale coffee, and sour beer. It was mostly empty, which made sense for the time of night. There were a few tables in the small wood-paneled dining area, and a long dark wood bar that extended almost the entire length of the room, wrapping into an L shape at the far end. It was there, at the far back, that Cas saw an obviously drunk and pissed looking John nursing a beer at the bottom of the L. His view of the parking lot and alley entry was unobstructed from his vantage point. Not too far away from him was the only other occupied table, one lone trucker sitting there with a beer in hand and an empty plate in front of him. Across the table from him was an empty seat with an equally empty plate and its own beer. Cas surmised that the man currently in the alley with Dean had come from the same table. 

A man standing behind the bar waved him in. “We are closing the kitchen in about five minutes, do you want to order anything real fast, or are you just here for a drink?” 

“Just a beer thanks, anything is fine.”

“Alright, take a seat and I’ll bring it over.”

Cas walked down to the end where everyone else was and took the stool a few places over from John. His back was to the window, but he didn’t want to see what was happening out there anyway, it was too much to ask. John was the predator he was protecting Dean from tonight. He made sure that he sat close enough to John to converse casually and was easy listening distance from the table as well. The bartender placed a slightly too warm bottle of domestic beer in front of him and he took an easy sip, looking like that was the only reason he had to be there.

The place was quiet save for the country music playing in the background. The three of them sat in silence as though waiting for something to happen. Cas took the opportunity to size up John out of the corner of his eye. His dark hair was unkempt, he needed a shave and a shower by the looks of things. His expression was fowl, and the aura around him was definitely an angry ‘don’t fuck with me’. 

“You from around here?” Cas asked John nonchalantly, ignoring the fact that John’s expression clearly said that he rather kill you than talk to you.

“Do I look like I fucking want to make small talk?” Charming.

“Sorry, no offense meant.” Cas met the dirty glare John threw his way and didn’t back down. “Just being friendly, I’ve been on the road for a couple of days now, missing my family. You got any kids?”

Drunk or not John caught on immediately that he was being baited. He didn’t say a word, took another sip of his beer and continued to glare at Cas the entire time.

“I’ve got a son, we adopted him. The kid’s amazing, I‘d do anything for him just to make sure he was well-fed and safe. You know what I mean?” Cas caught the way the corner of John’s eye twitched. He’d hit the bullseye. Pulling up one side of his mouth in a tiny smile of victory he took a sip of his own beer.

Before it could escalate further, the trucker from the alley made his way back into the restaurant and sat back down with his friend. Maybe a little bit drunk, or maybe just in a real good mood after his back alley encounter, he wasn’t the least bit discreet.  
“God damn, you weren’t kidding. Kid sucks better than my wife’s new hoover.” Both men laughed at the joke.

“Best twenty bucks I’d spent all week. Recognize him?”

“Who the kid? Nah, you?

“Yup, not his first rodeo. First time a couple of years back, another truck stop outside Flagstaff. Twice last year along I- 40. Don’t know his story but he sure gets around. Keep an eye out now that you know, you can’t miss those green eyes.”

“Maybe next time you see him you should give him a promise ring or something, sounds like you’re dating.”

“Fuck you Henry, it’s only gay if you’re the one sucking the dick.” Henry and the other man laughed at what they thought was a hilarious exchange. They were completely oblivious to the way John’s face mottled with anger.

John had been deathly quiet while the men talked. “It sounds to me like you’re both a couple of fags, maybe I should kick the shit out of you both for fucking around with an underage kid.”

That stopped the laughter, they were both big men, but it was clear to them both that John was dangerous and picking a fight with him wouldn’t go well. Not-Henry answered while Henry opened his wallet to leave some cash on the table for their meal. They knew it was time to go. “Well, if anybody gave a shit about him, he wouldn’t be out there to begin with, underage or no. Kid’s hungry by the looks of him, the twenty I gave him will fill his belly for a day at least. And don’t fool yourself, he likes cock. It’s a real win-win situation.” Making a fast exit together Not-Henry threw his parting words over his shoulder on the way out. “Why don’t you give him a twenty yourself and ask him to show you exactly how much.”

And maybe for the first time and the last time ever Castiel and John sat together sharing the exact same emotion. Rage.

Cas turned on his stool and watched the two men walk across the parking lot to their trucks and drive away. He and John were the last two customers, and the bartender was ignoring them in favor of shutting down the kitchen in the back. Closing time was coming.

Neither of them said anything for a long time. John was staring hard out the front window, watching for Dean probably. Cas stared down at his bottle, intentionally using his fingers to peel at the label, pretending like he was doing anything else except casing John, although that’s exactly what he was doing. He could have used his grace to poke into his thoughts, he really didn’t care about respecting John’s privacy in the least, but it wouldn’t make a difference anyway. Cas was just waiting for the right time.

It was John who broke the silence. His words might have been slightly slurred from alcohol but they were still cold and threatening. “Looks to me like your beer is done, now why don’t you get the fuck outta here and go back to your…family. Or are you here waitin’ your turn on that tail out there too? Maybe I should be kickin’ the shit outta you.“ Castiel straightened up just enough to meet John’s brown eyes but not so much that he could be perceived as a threat. It was too soon.

He wasn’t the least bit worried about how a fight right now would end, but Cas had to let things progress a little more to minimize the impact on the timeline. Wordlessly he stood, dropped a few dollars on the bar to pay for the beer, and left. He made sure to walk by the window so John would think he was leaving, then he made himself invisible and circled back to wait near where he knew Dean would be. According to Dean’s story, he only needed to stay out of sight until John dragged him back into the alley. 

Stepping into the alley, it was easy to spot the younger Dean. He was poking through the restaurant’s garbage, presumably for food that had been thrown away. Cas saw him pick out a half-eaten hamburger and bring it back to an old milk crate where he sat down and ate it. In all the years they had known each other, and in all the conversations he had had with Dean from his own timeline, he had never mentioned having to go through garbage to find food. Cas hadn’t thought it possible, but his heart broke yet again over the neglectful upbringing of Sam and Dean Winchester. 

Headlights briefly cut through the darkness and Cas realized that the bartender from the restaurant was gone. It was just the three of them now, whoever had originally been the person to attack John tonight was no longer around. Probably one of the two truckers, he thought to himself.  
Dean stood up after the car left, brushing his hands on his pant legs. Castiel didn’t move, still invisible, the spot gave him a clear vantage point over both the parking lot and the alley. Silently he watched the younger Dean pull his jacket together against the cold and start walking. Presumably, in the direction of the motel they were staying in. 

The moon was still bright enough to make up for the poor lighting around the area. It wasn’t impossible to think that there would be security cameras in the area in 1996, but it wasn’t probable. And here, even less so. The owners might eke out a living, but it was doubtful that they had the money or desire for surveillance. No one would ever see what was about to go down.

Dean had crossed maybe a third of the way through the lot before John stepped out of the shadows and approached him from behind. One hard punch to the back of his head and Dean hit the ground hard, skull cracking against the pavement. That explained the fuzzy account of what happened. John kicked him in the ribs once before grabbing the denim at his shoulder and dragging him back towards where Cas was waiting. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing out here boy? You a fucking disgusting piece of trash, leaving your brother all alone so you can what? Whore yourself? What a goddamned embarrassment you are.” 

Each sentence was punctuated by a blow, landing mostly in Dean’s face and torso. Dean, likely concussed from the first blow didn’t struggle and responded little beyond grunts of pain and a frightened cry of “No sir, let me explain.” John kept pulling him at a fast clip towards the alley, past Cas who was still hidden, and shoved Dean face first into the dirty brick.

“You’re dead to me after tonight, you got that? Dead.” Dean was crying openly now. “I heard all about it tonight Dean, heard them talking about how depraved you are, about how much you like it. They said you were a real treat. Proud of your self boy?” John pulled the crying teenager back and slammed him into the wall again, knocking any breath he had left out of his lungs. “I just found out that my faggot of a son likes sucking cock for money, useless piece of shit that you are, I want to see for myself before I finish beating the shit out of you and leave you in the garbage where you belong.”

Dean was roughly shoved to his knees, understanding exactly what was coming next. “Dad, please no. I’m sorry, please don’t….dad.” John’s answer was to backhand him across the face one more time and then grab him by the hair using his left hand. His right hand went to the front of his pants and the only sounds to be heard were the clinking of a belt buckle being undone and defeated sobs. Castiel had seen enough, the timeline requirements had to have been met, and even if it hadn’t – he couldn’t let it go any further.

Two strides, he grasped the collar of John’s dark jacket and used his grace to move them both out of the alley and around to the other side of the building, almost, but not completely out of Dean’s hearing. Barely restrained energy crackled in the air around them as Castiel slammed John against the brick hard enough to crack bone but nowhere near as hard as he wanted to. John’s feet were off the ground and he dangled limply like a rag dog. Shocked into silence, he just stared, mouth gaping open like a fish out of water. 

Cas took his index and middle finger and placed it against John’s forehead. “The first thing I’m going to do John Winchester is sober you up. I want you to remember everything that’s going to happen next.” Light radiated from his fingertips and John’s eye’s widened in sober awareness, pupils dilating in fear.

His voice was low and feral “What I am, is no concern of yours. Who I am, is. If it were up to me, I’d kill you right now but your boys, your SONS still need a father for now. They deserve so much better than you, what do you actually think Mary would say if she knew what you were about to do?”

The mention of Mary riled John up enough to be defiant – stupidly so. “Who the fuck do you think you are to talk to me about…” The air crackled again, this time Cas’s eye lit up around the irises, squeezed John’s throat just enough to stop whatever he thought he was going to say next.

“Did I say you could talk…Boy? Let me make myself a little more clear.” Cas put his hand back on John’s forehead and linked some chosen memories from his mind into Johns, ones to frighten him, war and hell, misery and suffering, death and destruction on a scale that John couldn’t be able to comprehend beyond knowing he was little more than a bug to be squashed in this moment. The fear in his eyes went right to terror, and Castiel smirked in satisfaction at the sound of John urinating himself.

“I thought so. Takes a big man to beat his son whose only crime is trying to provide for his little brother because you won’t. I hope the stink of your own shame clings to your skin, you are the one who is a vile disgrace, not Dean. Not ever Dean. If I find out that you’ve harmed either of your sons again, I will be back. You will wish for a fast death, and I will not give it to you. Do you understand?” John nodded his head.

“Better, touch Dean like that again – you will die, I’ll see to it personally. Keep dumping them in motels with no money or means to take care of themselves – you’re sending me an invitation to come back. And I don’t want to have to come back. Do I make myself clear?” John nodded again. “Say it.”

“I….I take care of the boys…so you don’t come back.”

“ …don’t come back and what?”

“Don’t come back and kill me.”

“Good, we have an understanding” Cas lowered him to the ground so he could stand on his own, although his legs were shaky. “One more thing.”

Before John could move or ask, he was struck in the face and fell to his knees. From there Cas kicked him, cracking a few ribs. “I do not appreciate the fact that I had to watch you beat your son tonight, and I’m going to leave you with a matching set of injuries. Let me know how you like it.” Blow for blow, including a concussing slam against the wall Castiel left John in the same battered mess he himself had intended to leave Dean, but lying in a puddle of his own stank urine.

That taken care of, and without a single glance at the crumpled heap of John on the ground, he went to Dean who was still dazed and lying on his side in the alley. He had vomited and his cheeks were wet with tears where he was still sobbing quietly. Cas knelt beside him and gently extended his grace towards him to calm him down. “Shh Dean, it’s ok, it’s over. He won’t touch you again, I promise.” Using his grace again, he put Dean into a restful state and did a subtle scan for injuries, healing the worst of them…three broken ribs, and a concussion. He left the bruising so Dean would not awaken overly suspicious in the morning by not being injured. Along with that he cleaned up the blood and vomit and wiped most of Dean’s memories of what had just happened. Checking his denim jacket pockets, he found the motel key, and with that destination in mind, he moved them both straight to the room where Sam was thankfully, sound asleep.

Cas quietly placed Dean on the other bed. He used the dingy old blanket to cover him up and watched him sleep for a few moments, drinking in the sight of the boy who would grow into the man that was now his. His heart ached for all of the hurt he would still have to endure, tonight was just a band-aid against a lifetime of trauma. It wasn’t fair. Tearing up he leaned over and kissed the sleeping form on the forehead, softly whispering: “The world has never shown you the kindness that you deserve. I’m so sorry.” 

And with that, he stood up and put himself back into the timestream, back home. He completely missed the moment when Dean opened one eye and caught sight of the tall man in a trench coat disappearing from view.


	3. Chapter 3

Manipulating the time stream home had been easier than the way there. After a quick stop to grab the takeout that had been his entire excuse to be out, Cas was back at the bunker he and Dean now shared alone. Sam had moved out with Eileen years ago, each couple wanting privacy.

“Dean? I’m back, I brought dinner.” He walked down the stairs as though it were any other day.

“Dude, what took you so long, I’m starving.” Dean met him at the bottom of the steps, grabbed the box, and gave Cas a quick kiss before heading to the kitchen. “M..smells awesome. But that’s not the usual box, where’d you get it?”

Castiel smiled and followed him, still carrying a paper bag. “Naples.” Setting it on the table he walked over to the cupboard to grab two plates, two wine glasses, and a corkscrew. Back at the table he set to work uncorking the bottle and pouring them each a glass of red. Dean stood still in the center of the floor watching him quietly the whole time.

“Did you just say that you went to Italy to get us pizza?”

“Yes. And wine.”

Putting the bottle down, Cas met Dean where he stood and took the pizza box from his hands, leaning in for an affectionate kiss on the way by. Placing the pizza box directly on the table next to the plates he turned to look at his husband. “I’ve been reminded that you do so much for everyone else, without asking for anything in return. I thought maybe I could spoil you tonight.”

Dean shot a playful grin his way before sitting down and grabbing a slice. “You trying to get into my pants hot stuff? ‘Cause it’s working.”

“Possibly?”

They sat in companionable silence for the first few minutes of their meal. The crust had been perfectly cooked in the wood-fired oven, and while Dean was typically a pepperoni and sausage pizza kind of guy, the authentic combination of fresh basil and mozzarella was more than delicious.

“Fuck Cas, this is amazing. You are so getting laid tonight.” Under the table, he hooked his foot between and behind Cas’, looking for a little extra contact.

It was Cas’ turn to grin back, but his smile faltered slightly when he remembered where he had been earlier, and why. Dean caught the shadow that had crossed his face and called him out. “Hey, I saw that. The pizza is great, I appreciate it. If you’re not up for anything else…”

“It’s not that, Dean. I was just thinking about something else.” 

Dean studied him for a moment, he had an idea about what was on Cas’s mind and decided that the conversation to go with it would probably take the enjoyment out of the meal. Cas had gone out of his way to do something nice for him and he wasn’t going to ruin it with something that could wait an hour. “Well, let’s talk about that after. This dinner is awesome and so are you. If we weren’t already married, I’d propose again.”

That brought a smile back to Cas’s face. “Technically Dean, you never proposed to me, so you can’t propose ‘again.’”

“Hey man, I had the ring. YOU jumped the gun and ruined my surprise. Still counts.” This triggered their never-ending, but always light-hearted debate. The truth of it was that Sam had played them both, convincing them to propose on the same night over dinner. Cas had won out by about 15 seconds, so it was basically a tie. Regardless, the mood was lightened, and they laughed through the rest of their meal.

After the dishes, they moved to the Deancave to watch Netflix curled up on the couch. Scrolling through the choices, Dean figured that it was as good a time as any to finish the talk they didn’t have earlier. Hitting mute, he put the remote aside and tuned to face Cas directly.

“OK, about earlier. Want to tell me what was on your mind?”

“Nothing as important as watching Tombstone again. Let’s do that.” Dean recognized that as Cas’s classic evasion strategy.

“Sorry cowboy, not buying it. Spill.” Dean placed his hand on Cas’s thigh.

Cas angled towards Dean so he could meet his gaze head on, placing his hand on top of Dean’s. “The case from the other day, with the boys. Did Sam give everything to Jody?”

“Jody told him they’d been looking for these guys already, we solved the case. The drive was the final piece of evidence they needed and will help the authorities identify and arrest anyone else involved who wasn’t there that day. The kids are safe.” Dean turned his hand up and laced their fingers together. “Any other questions?”

“Um, can I…can I ask you about your father? About what you told me? I mean I’d understand if you don’t want to talk about it.” Cas didn’t want to bring it up, but he wanted to make sure he hadn’t made Dean’s timeline worse.

“When I told you about it, did I say that he never laid a finger on me again?” Dean’s looked at Cas with intensity, not breaking eye contact.

“Yes.”

He leaned forward, softly drew his free hand along Cas’s cheek and jawline, and kissed him gently. “Then you didn’t change anything important. Thank you.”

Blues eyes widened in shock. ”How did you know?”

“You triggered my memory when we were talking. When you mentioned how the world has never shown me kindness, I remembered that was what the man had said to me that night. And once I remembered that… I remembered his trench coat. All these years and here I am having a reunion with my own personal time traveling guardian angel.”

“Dean, I thought I was so careful; I don’t know what to say.”

“Well, I’m guessing it’s only been a few hours for you, but going on twenty-five years for me. You don’t need to say anything.” 

“’Really Dean?”

“Yeah man, but I have to ask…how’d it feel?”

“Honestly? I wanted to kill him, but I settled for some broken ribs and instilling enough fear to make him urinate.”

“Seriously? He pissed his pants? Nice.” Cas had no response, and Dean didn’t feel like he wanted to know any more than that, so they sat in pensive silence for a few moments. “Cas, the world never had to show me kindness because I have you, and you are so much better. You literally rescued me from Hell, died for me, and traveled back in time to protect me. I love you so fucking much and it will never be enough to match what you’ve done for me.”

“It’s not a contest Dean.”

“Good! I’m just really glad that I proposed first!” He grinned playfully and kissed Cas to silence any argument. Since Cas was sitting closer to the end of the couch Dean twisted around again and put his feet up, leaning heavily into his husband. Cas put the bowl of popcorn onto his lap so Dean could reach it and they settled in to watch Tombstone.

**Author's Note:**

> There's a happy ending, I promise.


End file.
